2015 and Grief

I'm long overdue for another post. There were a lot of changes back in America for me in 2015, and it never felt like the right time to talk about anything. I don't think that's changed, but it's getting easier to talk about.

This summer my family had to sell our beautiful lake-front cabin in north Idaho. It needed to happen because it was not practical to keep such a remote property that we could only manage to use a few times a year. It was the right and necessary thing, but it's still surprisingly hard to let go. And being so far away, we couldn't make one last visit.

After the cabin sold, a very dear family member got sick with incurable cancer. This was a person I've felt close to and admired all my life, even though we didn't communicate often. We didn't attend the funeral.

Then my stepfather was told he had blood cancer and a few months to live. My mother was a champion, and her family swooped in like superheroes to help out. The timeline they gave him was pretty close. I think he made it a week or two beyond what they said, and then he was gone. He was my first dance partner. I don't think we could have been farther apart politically, socially, environmentally, religiously, or any other -ally out there. But it didn't matter. We talked. He cheered me on and made me feel talented and smart, and we respected each other. And I was on the other side of the world when he died.

So, that's the thing that you can't prepare yourself for when you relocate: how much stuff of life happens back in your old life that you just can't be involved in because of distance. Big changes.

I still wouldn't change our decision to move to Japan. I always would have wondered and regretted, if we had decided not to come. Part of me knew that we might miss out on big things at home. Weddings happen, babies are born, and there are tragedies. And we miss out on being involved in those things, and others miss out on things here. There really isn't a fix for that, so we have to accept and adjust and find new ways to grieve from afar. And make up for as much as we can during the visits we are fortunate enough to have.

Tokyo Disneyland

Tokyo Disneyland's main entrance

I'm all over the place with my posting timeline. In February our friend Fumie helped us enjoy Tokyo Disneyland for my son's 7th birthday. She showed us that there was a bus that we could catch at a stop that wasn't too far from our house, and it would take us right to Disneyland's main gate. We woke up at 4:00 a.m., caught the bus at 6:00, and two hours later on a Thursday morning, there we were!

We stopped by the Gag Factory near the Roger Rabbit ride to get my son's birthday medal and Mickey doll. The hardest part was tearing them away from the cartoons that were playing on the TVs inside!

It was a beautiful day. We stayed in Toon Town for a little while, rode a few of the rides, watched a Frozen parade, and visited Mickey's House. Even though we arrived when the gate opened, and even though it was a Thursday, it was already a full park and the lines for popular attractions (like meeting Mickey) were quite long:

The wait time was nearly an hour, but 
thankfully it felt like much less time. 
We all enjoyed seeing Mickey's house 
come to life, and it was great to
meet Mickey!

Since it was our first day, we weren't really familiar with the ins and outs of the park. Fumie told us about the FastPass machines, but we didn't really understand how it all worked. We didn't know that there was a different machine for each ride, or that we really had to run around the park first thing in the morning and visit all the FastPass machines for the rides we wanted. We also didn't know that the passes were sold for a rather specific window of time, and that we couldn't have more than one FastPass for each time window. It all kind of makes sense now, but it was a lot to figure out on the first day. It was also difficult for us to figure out which rides were height-compatible with our kids, because there isn't a list of rides by height-requirement that we could find. (Scratch that, I think I found one in Japanese, but it was still difficult to decipher.) By day two we were much more familiar with the process and we made it on more rides.

There were FastPasses for shows, too. The most popular shows require a reservation that can be made online, but that site is only in Japanese (and most of the words are graphics that can't be translated by a browser, unfortunately). The shows are so popular that the FastPass machines for them give tickets by lottery. We tried our luck, but we were only allowed to try each show once on any given day, and luck wasn't with us. Next time I think we'll give the online reservations a shot.

Online reservations are also required for any of the sit-down theme restaurants like Pirates of the Caribbean. As with the shows, the reservation site is only in Japanese and again most of the text is actually a graphic that can't be translated. Hopefully I'll know enough Japanese before the next time we go that I can get that done myself.

I was surprised at how long the lines were for everything. The rides, the food, and shopping at the end of the day (tip: do NOT shop at the end of the day)! Thursday wasn't quite as crowded, but Friday coincided with a holiday for China (Chinese New Year) and there were a LOT of Chinese tourists that day. Apparently it's best to be an expert on Chinese, Korean, and Japanese holidays, because they greatly impact the crowd level.

This is the line...for churros!

Speaking of food, this is the main indication that you aren't in any other Disneyland in the world. The park looks so similar to the one I've been to in California that if it weren't for the food and the Japanese signs, I could be forgiven for thinking I was back in America (even the character actors are white and speak English). But back to the food. Especially the popcorn! There were 3 flavors: caramel, chocolate, and curry! We could follow our nose to any one in the park. Sometimes the aromas overlapped. Chocolate curry smells weird :-) And smoked turkey legs are a very popular food cart item!

Aside from the popcorn, the other food items at the park definitely had a Japanese spin on them.

A sample menu at one of the more kid-friendly
snack shacks. Picky kids may not enjoy the
Chinese steamed bun or the corn on the pizza,
but I thought they were delicious!

Even the hot dogs are a bit different from what you might expect:

"Pluto's Favorite Sausage" has a real bone for a stick!

All in all, it was quite an eventful trip for us. We rode a lot of rides, walked a million miles, and ended the trip with dazed but happy kids. Next time: Disney Sea!

Did I leave you with questions? Put them in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them!

Japanese BBQ

Back in April a friend of ours invited our family to enjoy a barbecue in Kasama city's Kitayama park with his family and his church group. We try to say "yes" to every invitation, because we always learn something new and we're usually exposed to something delicious :-) This time was no exception.

Grill area, complete with storage for the grill plates

The setting was a beautiful grill area, complete with shelters, a bathroom, a long sink with running water, and a playground. The weather was gorgeous, and the whole place was very clean.

It was quiet, clean, and cool beneath the shady trees

The entire affair was interesting to witness. There is no fee to use this site, but reservations are required. With the reservation comes a key to the storage area where the grill plates and other items are stored (1st photo). While the kids ran around, the experienced adults set up the grill plates and carried mountains of food and supplies from their cars.

The food was cooked on metal sheets that rested on a cement oven. Charcoal logs (one of the many items carried in that day) were placed in the firepit area underneath. While the surface was getting hot, everyone went to work. The kids were given the job of destroying shredding the vegetables while other adults chopped onions or opened packages of meat. Our daughter and son thoroughly enjoyed pretending to be monsters while they ripped cabbage and sweet bell peppers to tiny bits. It was less messy than I thought it would be!

Thicker pieces of meat went onto the grill plate first, and then the vegetables. Last were packages of yakisoba noodles and a delicious sauce. The entire process only took about 20 minutes, and then everybody tucked in. It was so delicious! Even my son loved it, and he's a hard one to please.

Yakisoba is a delicious and easy dish
that can feed many people

We enjoyed a dessert of berries and roasted marshmallows, and then helped with cleanup. Japanese kids are required to clean up in schools, and the training to be efficient and thorough clearly lasts through adulthood. Ashes were swept, the tile surround was scrubbed, and all borrowed items were returned to the shed just the way they were found.

Before we knew it, everyone was packed and ready to break camp. We were told that there was a very long slide only a little hike away, so we enjoyed the short walk through the forest to get there. We stopped by the visitor's center to get the foam seats (also fee-free) that you really want to sit on when you go down the slide. Another short walk took us to the bottom of it, and we could see why the seats were important. The slide was about 500 meters long and made entirely of metal rollers that can pinch skin or clothing if the seats aren't used.

Wisteria growing near the visitor's center.
Dozens of bees hummed lazily in the
flowers above our heads.

In spite of the steepness of the hill our kids raced to the top at least 3 or 4 times and thoroughly enjoyed the trip down. "Raced" isn't the word I would use for the adults, but we enjoyed ourselves just the same :-) From the top to the bottom, the trip takes about one minute. (No, literally, one minute! That's a long slide!!)

Just a portion of this long, long slide!

Kairakuen park and Senba lake in Mito

Plum blossoms at Kairakuen

Shogun house

Kairakuen

One of the meeting rooms on the upper level

Spring is definitely here! There are perfectly gorgeous days sprinkled in amongst days and days of rain. The humidity is high, and the flowers are blooming. We are lucky enough to have a fantastic friend who took us to see the plum blossoms in Mito on a mild day last month (thank you, Fumie Emory!). Along with the plum blossoms, there is also a shogun house that you can walk through for a small fee. The stairs to the upper floors are amazingly steep, narrow, and the treads are shallow. Small wonder that the structure boasted a dumb waiter to move things more efficiently!

It was wonderful to see the interior and the architectural details. The building has a wonderful flow to it. The bottom level is skirted by a walkway, and the interior is divided into rooms with paper walls that are painted in different themes. The upstairs has amazing views, and a separate building on the lower level contained a spacious hall with tall ceilings and more beautiful views.

View from the shogun house

Senba lake

Near Kairakuen park is Senba lake, which is ringed with cherry trees. They weren't in bloom when we visited, but the lake was still an interesting spot. There are boats in the shape of swans and cars that can be rented, and it was fun to watch joggers run their laps around the lake. It's a very popular spot for marathon training.

Our kids definitely enjoyed their time at the lake. Our son discovered an amazing playground hidden at the top of a hill behind the lake. There was a zip line, rope structures, an amazingly long slide, and play structures that were connected to make one long obstacle course. I would wager that we enjoyed the playground more than Disneyland! No waiting, no fee, no crowds, and "yes, you can climb on that," is a wonderful phrase for kids to hear :-) We ended the day feeling very tired, but really happy.

A super-long slide with rollers

Slides, balance structures, climbing structures, webbing structures, and more!

Free time!

First day is over!

Initially I hoped to post at least twice a month on this blog. Hopefully I can start to do that, because our daughter started preschool! She leaves at 8:00 in the morning and comes back around 1:00 in the afternoon. Every time she comes home she practically bounces off the bus (which has the cutest child-sized seats, by the way). She can't wait to show me the projects that she brought home, and her teachers told me that she spends most of her time there smiling. It's such a relief to hear that, let me tell you! She can be so shy at times, and then flick a switch and act like a social butterfly.

I don't know much about her day, thanks to the language barrier. I do know that she doesn't wear outdoor shoes inside the classroom, of course. She wears a little yellow smock every day, and must always bring a little towel, a cup, and her bento (lunch) on bento days. Everything fits inside her little backpack, given to us by a neighbor who didn't need it any more. For the first week the parents are the ones who provide lunches. We have a lot of cute bento ideas, but she's been so happy with the first lunch that we made that we just left it alone. So, every day she has two little rice balls, a cut-up little hot dog, a big handful of edemame, and a packet containing sesame seeds and nori flakes to put on top of the rice. After this week we had the choice of making her lunch two or three times a week, but we opted to have her eat school food every day. We're so lucky that she adores Japanese food!

Preschool swag

I am really excited for her to be immersed in the Japanese language and culture, especially in a place that makes her so happy. She's at that lucky age where she can focus on speaking and understanding. It's much more difficult for our son, since he has to learn to speak, read and write, all at the same time. With any luck, our daughter will soon be a language resource for him, and one for me, too!

I still struggle a lot with Japanese. We've been here for about 3/4 of a year, and there is still so much to learn! Three mothers in our neighborhood speak English very well, and are working together to make sure that I keep up with what's going on at my children's school. It's quite a time investment from their end, so I have motivation to learn enough that they won't have to help me every day.

So what exactly do they have in Costcos in Japan?

My friend Emori-san took me to Costco today. Costco is one of the inevitable answers I always hear when I ask my friends or neighbors, "Where can I find X or Y?" The other answer is "Joyful Honda." Both stores are located close to each other, but about 10 km away from me, and impractical to visit by bicycle. Can you imagine me trying to peddle 100 rolls of toilet paper home on my little bike? I'd look like the old Charmin commercials the US used to have, with kids stuffing them into their pants so they don't get hurt when they fall down ice skating.

At first glance it would seem impractical for Japan to have Costcos. After all, we've all heard horror stories of tiny living spaces and small cars. And there are no basements to tidily hoard things in, unlike so many places in the US. But the Japanese have figured something out that few in America have: get the neighborhood in on it.

It's genius, right? Three or four people from the same neighborhood will go to Costco, buy what they need, and then come home and divvy up the goods. Inexpensive, efficient, and another reason to maintain neighborhood harmony. I call it a win for everyone.

So, here's the trip in a photographic nutshell:

Our parking spot, if you can believe it!

The view once you walk through the doors.

This is magic steak that would still taste tender,
even if you overcooked it.

My husband's lunch. I kid, but only a little.

Midway down is a full sized pool table.

There? On the right? Squid ink pasta sauce.

There was more. Of course. So much more. Fresh bread, tons of alcohol (literally, I'm pretty sure), clothing, toys, tents, lots and lots of chocolate, and quite a few American treats like Snickers and Dum Dum suckers that were fun to see. But the item I was most excited to find was:

An essential pantry item in the US.
Not so much in Japan.

Yup, you got it. Humble distilled white vinegar. Thanks to a litany of Facebook posters sharing the simple hacks that revolve around this liquid, I felt a little bit lost when I couldn't find it at our local store. Now, look out laundry, and windows, and deviled eggs! My secret weapon is back in my tool belt!

What happened to December?

So, I had the best of intentions for December. I really did. I was going to post, right after we bought the Christmas presents that needed to cross international borders. And then I was going to post after we finally got them shipped. And then I was going to post during my son and husband's holiday, but my husband and daughter got sick and then stayed sick. For. The. Whole. Holiday.

Like I said, I had the best of intentions. So, here's the gist of December from our POV.

We made our own tree out of construction paper hands. It's taped to our door. The lights cost us about $25.

My daughter with the beginning of our tree

All done! Kinda. The origami nativity ornaments
will hopefully be completed next year.

Origami shepherd (jawa-esque, right?), sheep, star,
and everything is always better with glittery pompoms.

The buck-toothed camel really adds a nice touch.

So, the tree was finished just in time for no one to care, honestly. We opened presents on the Japanese Emperor's birthday (two days before Christmas) because my husband needed to work on Christmas. The kids had an entire day of gorging themselves on the newness, delivered by the postman on behalf of our generous relatives in America, before my daughter came down with a severe cold that included delightful episodes of fever and barfing. Barfing, on our bed. And let me remind you that, while we have a washing machine with a capacity that can accommodate our bed cover, we don't have a dryer. That's called "outside," except when it's raining. Like it did, every day that my daughter threw up. And then my husband got sick. And then my son woke up with pinkeye and I had to have a neighbor drive me to the eye doctor with him on what was probably the last clinic day before the entire country went on vacation for a week.

Fast forward through that awfulness (how I envy you right now), and everybody is healthy now and life is pretty much back to normal. And the tree is still up. So maybe "normal" is overselling it a bit...